The Prophet (SAW) would say to the ill person “Never mind, it is purification (spiritually expedites sins) if Allah (swt) wills.” (Arabic: Laa ba’s Tahooran InshaAllah)
WHAT TO SAY – DO’S and DON’TS
Try to avoid:
- What can I do to help? As Doug Ulman, the chief executive of Livestrong and a three-time cancer survivor, explained: “The patient is never going to tell you. They don’t want to feel vulnerable.” Instead, just do something for the patient. Clean out the fridge, replace the light bulbs, unpot the dead plants, etc.
- Insisting on home-made or village remedies.
- Mollycoddling or treating them like a child.
- False statements about how good they look which often times makes them more self-conscious and concerned about how they actually look.
- Ask how they are and give them space to lead the conversation
- Let them know they don’t need to respond to every visit or contact or feel obliged to keep everyone informed, especially in the age of social media.
- Keep it short – use “I should be going now” so you don’t overstay your welcome. 20 minutes is more than enough and make it less if the patient is tired or in pain. And while you’re there, wash a few dishes or tidy up the room. And don’t forget to remove any rubbish when you leave.
- A slight change of topic can go a long way – patients are often sick of talking about their illness. By all means, follow the lead of the individual, but sometimes ignoring the elephant in the room is just the right medicine.
- Remind them you love them and care for them. When all else fails, simple, direct emotion is the most powerful gift you can give a loved one going through pain.
- Say positive things and cheer them up
- Encourage them to make repentance (tawbah)
- Encourage them to prepare a will if they havent already prepared one. More information is available at www.onlineislamicwill.com
- Ask them to be patient
- Ask them to make dua for you